"Lying on the stairs snoring now"

Song Title: Leave Your Name
Album: Double Up, 2007

People saying Kellz is a hot mess
Even after that I was taking shots
Shot after shot
Shot after shot
then I couldn't even open the door to my Benz
Dropped off and I get in the door now
Lying on the stairs snoring now
Why you calling me calling me calling me?


Above is a probably very accurate account of a big night out for R. Kelly, as well as the specific reason he's not answering the phone at this moment. It comes as part of a long song that plays as if it is his outgoing message on his answering machine. (Though the real genius is in the chorus.)

It's a refreshing new take on the outgoing message, this brutal honesty about a night ending in a pathetic passing out on your own staircase. He could lie and say he brought home two girls and is busy with them, but instead he tells us callers exactly what went down, even if its not that glamorous.

Kinda inspires me want to change my outgoing message to say something more honest, like, 'I'm sitting hunched over in front of my computer looking up R. Kelly lyrics and re-checking my email inbox (which is empty) and wondering if its too early to have lunch and/or if its okay to have a third cup of coffee..."