Song Title: I like the crotch on you
Album: 12Play
Full Verse:
I like the ... with big booties in 'em
I like the crotch on you
I want what you've got baby
Girl I like those daisy dukes on you
Girl you look so fine, I wanna get with you
So tell me who's your man,
We will have a talk with him
We're seeing a common theme come out here: R.'s unfailing honesty. While other men might claim they love "your eyes" or "your smile" or "your personality," let's just sex right to the cut here.
Ladies, it's your crotch they love. Duh. How refreshing that R. comes right out and says so, with such candor.
Then, ever the straightforward type, he suggests he and this lady whose crotch he admires go and have a talk with her man. I imagine he will say, "Good sir. I was looking at your lady here in her daisy dukes and I have decided that she is possessed of an unbelievable crotch. So if you don't mind, I'd like to [insert your favorite sexaphor here] said crotch."
And the man in question will, of course, be glad to have been spoken to so candidly, and will reply in a pleasant manner: "Why, of course R. Be my guest. It is a fine crotch, is it not?"
And the lady would bat her eyes coyly, but why bother? Nobody cares about her eyes. What she should be batting coyly—if anything—is her crotch.
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6 comments:
Hmmm... R. might be acting a little delusional here. Last I checked he wasn't very good at handling these sorts of situations. See: every chapter of trapped in the closet. He's quick to pull out his gun at the smallest hint of a confrontation with another man. It's nice that he so quickly forgets this, though. I mean, over all, he is a positive guy.
Oh man. I absolutely love this. Also, batting one's crotch sort of reminds me of that Masturbating Bear character from early "Late Night with Conan O'Brien. The Masturbating Bear, it appears, really liked the crotch on, well, the Masturbating Bear.
R.'s lyrics really point out a great irony that I'd never noticed. (The insight of this man!!) That is, crotches are the place we do most of our sexing. They're the most sex-centric body part, from an anatomic standpoint. (Our inner R. Kelly is probably the most sex-centric part of all of us). But crotches aren't sexy. At all. Butts. Now those can be gross and sexy. But crotches? Just gross. R., you've done it again.
Leave it to R. to subtley explore the finer points of our gross/sexy dichotomies.
Also, I should add, R. does have his moments of man-love. He and Usher were quite nice to each other during that whole 'we've been with the same girl' debacle.
"What she should be batting coyly—if anything—is her crotch."
kelly, that maybe the single most hilarious thing I have read on this here internet. keep up the great analysis!
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