Thursday, October 16, 2008

Either I'm high or, I think I just saw a dolphin


Song Title: Big Chips
Album: Unfinished Business
Featuring: Jay-Z

Two very distinct possibilities: Either R. is high, or he thinks he just saw a dolphin.

Now, since this song purpotedly begins in Las Vegas with Jay-Z, it's important that, like R., we examine the situation carefully before jumping to any erroneous conclusions. There aren't many dolphins in Vegas. Then again, he sings this line on the fadeout. So it's very likely that by then, R. has already moved somewhere else. Who are we to question? R. Kelly doesn't have to check in with us if he wants to jet from Vegas to another place with girls in bikinis.

So let's say he is on the beach. Most people sitting on the beach, staring into the water, would assume that the finned, squeaky, self-righteous creature they saw cavorting with its dolphin bretheren WAS, in fact, a dolphin.

They might say, “Look! A dolphin!”

But imagine their embarrassment when, whoops! Not a dophin. Instead, they were just high.

R. Kelly, who’s singing about this dolphin not only to his [presumably hot female] companion but also to the entire world, has to be extra careful before he says for sure that that creature over there was a dolphin.

Either I'm high, or I think this line is awesome.

5 comments:

R&BFan1988 said...

By "dolphin" R. probably means "penis". More importantly I just googled "dolphin sex" hoping to verify my belief that dolphins are of a few animals that have sex for pleasure. What I got was this:

http://www.sexwork.com/family/dolphins1.html

IT'S A HOW TO PAGE ON HOW TO HAVE SEX WITH DOLPHINS!!! and it's the first hit!!! and the next 5 hits, and THE VIDEO RESULTS ARE ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH DOLPHINS!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE WORLD!?!?!?!?!?!

that being said, R. would totally do a dolphin. by the shed.

Luly said...

You know what's great about this line, is that R.'s acting like he's NOT high.

Isn't this the sort of phrase that someone who ISN'T always high would use?

Usually people would say something like, 'Either I'm seeing things or I think I just saw some people doing it by the lawnmower'.

Meaning they're normal, self respecting homeowners, who don't see things, and they looked out over their fence and saw yes, two people doing it by the lawnmower.

Kelly Sharp said...

The hardest part about having sex with dolphins is that they're so wriggly. And slippery. And self-righteous.

Luly said...

You're right, Kelly. That's unacceptable. I mean, can handle a slippery sexual partner, and embrace a wriggly one, but not one that thinks its smarter than me--
when it doesn't even HAVE a blog about r kelly

Sammy T said...

Stumbling upon this 12 years later lol. I don’t ever comment on anything but I had to drop a line here in appreciation of this. In conversation the other day I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was saying and I just kinda mumbled the line while some friends were talkin and it totally derailed the conversation. They all just looked at me like I was batshit haha. So I googled the line to find the song (to prove I’m not crazy) and lo and behold I got something even better lol. Either I’m high, or I think this post is incredible. Stay blessed.

 

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